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My biggest fear right now is that I pour my heart out to Tom, about how I worry that our friendship has been one sided, and my concern that he’s only looking for sex and to show me off to people than any genuine bond…

And that he either confirms it or ignores it.

In some way showing me that he, as a cis gay man, only cares that I, his friend of 20+ years, have a dick.

That over the last few years, our friendship has somehow eroded to the point that that is all that matters.

I know I’m gonna have to end the relationship if that’s the case… but fuck, it is going to hurt so much if I have to.

Content warning: This is an abstract for the posting/comment

Hi, thanks for the help! I think I've updated the original post on my site to have the abstract now. Will keep that in mind for the future!
An update for this post: Thankfully, though it took some calming down, we managed to sit down and have a good talk about it. I think we're on the same page now, but there's certainly some work to be done.

I also got to show him Porter Robinson's 'Nurture' and watched 'Everything Everywhere All The Time', which in itself was amazing but I'm also stunned because usually, I don't get to show him things, or he's not interested.

And then he went off to the bars to socialise, and let me just wind down at his place and get comfortable, so maybe he's finally understood that I just don't feel comfortable in random bars.